Update 11/16/25: Manna for the Day

Exodus 16:4 "Then the Lord said to Moses, 'I will rain down bread from heaven for you. The people are to go out each day and gather enough for that day."  

The past few days have been bittersweet. My emotions feel like a roller coaster! Joy and excitement over the upcoming wedding and birthday celebrations, but deep pain and sorrow with seeing Wayne decline. The reality of what is coming really hit the other day. Thankfully, I had a counseling appointment already scheduled and that really helped. My counselor gave me a book called "Tear Soup". It was a little silly, but filled with so much truth about grief and tears. I don't know if it's the book's fault or just the accumulation of emotions, but I couldn't stop crying at church today. I felt like a hot mess. I'm not usually one to cry in public, but I just couldn't stop. 

A friend who has experienced the loss of her husband, reminded me the other day to enjoy every moment and not to fret about the future. I am trying to take the wisdom to heart, but it is hard when Wayne keeps telling me new things that are occurring.

My mom also wrote me the other day and reminded me that I just need manna for today, which perfectly aligns with Matthew 6:34 where we are told not to worry about tomorrow. But the word picture of manna spoke deeper to me. I have always been a planner and like to have back up plans to the back up plan (IYKYK). Unfortunately, the last 10+ years since Wayne was first diagnosed, that has gone out the window. But I find myself thinking about where will I find a job, how will I juggle kids and a job, do I need to do "x", how will I do "Y"? When my mom sent me that line, it hit. God has always taken care of us and provided everything we need. Not that I can just sit back and expect everything to be done without me lifting a finger, but God has always taken care of us. Just as He provided exactly what the Israelites needed in the desert each day with their daily food, He will take care of us too. Jesus is our daily bread!

Here is a poem that my mom wrote about this daily manna - she is so talented and just came up with this on a whim!

Manna for the Day: Jannetje Anita Thomas

God tells us don't look forward, 

with worries and with fears.

He says don't keep on living,

the hurts or times of tears.

What Jesus said about each hour

and all that comes our way,

is God has only promised

Manna for today.

God gives us:

Manna for today,

manna only for the day

The strength He had given 

It is manna for today

The strength for livin'

The Israelites who wandered

Through a barren desert land.

Questioned God's great goodness

And didn't understand. 

For Egypt they were longing,

And asked for more to eat.

The anger and the questions,

Filled them with defeat.

BUT,

God gave them:

Manna for today,

manna only for the day

His bread is daily given

It is manna for today

The strength we need for livin'

Wayne Update:

So where are we with Wayne? He is still pushing through, but he can feel himself getting weaker each day. 

He has informed me that after the wedding, he will go in a wheelchair to keep himself from falling and hurting himself. We spoke with his oncologist on Friday evening. He suggested that Wayne take a low dose of steroids to give him some extra strength until the wedding. Wayne has always said that he didn't want to go on steroids, because he has been around this world long enough to see that it just puts off the inevitable. BUT, he wants to be his best for Davis and Grace, so he is taking it for the two weeks and then will get off of it. Each day it is hard to hear him express other things that are harder to do or things he is unable to do on his own anymore. 

We are constantly talking over everything with the kids to help prepare them. But how do you really prepare yourself for someone to die? Anticipatory grief is real and we have all had moments of it the past few days. It seems like each worsening or new symptom causes more tears and grief. But, we will choose to focus on the manna for the day that God gives us and not worry about tomorrow...because God has that in His hands.

So, to remember and celebrate Wayne before brain cancer, I will start sharing another sermon series he preached between 2010-2014 on the book of Ecclesiastes. The plan is to share these over the next few weeks as I give updates on him.  

Update 11/11/25: Trusting in the Unknown

Psalm 9:10 "And those who know Your name will put their trust in You, for You, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek You."

I have wanted to give a quick update, but life has been crazy. I guess when you are planning a wedding in under 40 days, it can be chaotic. Miriam, Davis' mom, and I make a great team and all the plans are coming together. I figure that last few days before the wedding is when it will really hit.

Update Wayne:

Wayne is hanging in there, but he can feel himself getting weaker by the week. He told me today that PT today was a complete struggle. He keeps pushing though and wants to keep trying. Grace took him to the gym last week to walk, since she didn't want him falling in the neighborhood while he walked. He fell again, which made it 3 times in 7 days. The last three days he has had headaches and his good hand has had tremors. It is so hard not to read into things or to allow fear to fill my heart. Each new symptom and weakness in Wayne stirs so many different emotions. In those moments, I have to really just rest in what I know about God and trust Him.

 I'm so thankful that Davis and Grace decided to move their wedding up so he can walk her up the aisle. 18 more days!

Wayne looks so good, it is hard to believe sometimes that he has terminal brain cancer.

Shan had an appointment at Cincinnati Children's Hospital to start a medicine for his PIK3CA condition. We are hopeful that this medicine will help decrease the growth in his leg.

Baking sourdough bread has given me pleasure and helps with the stress...plus, Wayne loves it. I try to find little ways to make Wayne happy.

Joella and I enjoyed some fun activities today for her day off from school. We have been trying to find ways to relieve stress in our lives with all that is going on. Today was Hallmark and diamond art.

The other day our stress reliever was playing with my friend's puppies. Nothing like some puppy snuggles to take your mind off of life.

This past Saturday, some ladies from both our church and Grace's church threw Grace a bridal shower. It was such a blessing to have these amazing ladies step up and help us make Grace feel extra special before her wedding.

A few of the ladies that helped make this day happen!

Grace and I forgot to get a picture together at the shower, so we quickly snagged on at home. I love this girl and I'm so excited for her and Davis!

I thought that I would share this poem written by a woman in my GBM support group. It speaks so clearly of what we are experiencing right now. Below that is the third part of Wayne's sermon on 1 Peter.

****************************

The Unseen Weight of the Caregiver

There is a silence that follows you when you become a caregiver—

not the peaceful kind, but the kind that echoes with the life you once had.

A life filled with movement, laughter, and plans, now replaced by the steady rhythm of duty.

You carry more than a body; you carry a whole world of fears and uncertainties.

You remember the person you loved as they were—

their voice, their spark, the way they filled a room.

And yet, the one beside you now is a different version,

fragile in body, dependent in ways you never imagined.

You mourn them while they are still here,

a grief with no funeral,

an ache that has no end date.

Friends drift away, not always out of cruelty,

but because your pain unsettles them,

reminding them of life’s fragility.

And in the quiet hours,

you wonder if the time you have left—

when this chapter closes—

will be enough to reclaim yourself.

Or if the “you” that once existed

has already faded beyond recognition.

You have been the “should” for so long—

the one who must be strong,

the one who must endure—

that you’ve almost forgotten what it feels like

to simply be.

This is the unseen weight you carry:

the exhaustion of the body,

the erosion of the self,

the love that holds you here,

and the quiet hope

that one day, you will find yourself again

By Penelope Moraitou "just a caregiver"

****************************

Part 3 Wayne's Sermon: 1 Peter

Update 10/28/25: Moving Mountains

1 John 5:14-15 “This is the confidence which we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests which we have asked from Him.”

God has once again showed up in a big way in our lives. Trying to plan a wedding in under 40 days is a challenge, but not when you have God! On Saturday, Grace, Miriam, and I traveled to Cincinnati to visit Reading Bridal District to try to find Grace a wedding dress. In the first 24 hours after deciding to move the wedding up, we managed to book a venue, a photographer, and a DJ! The dress was the next biggest thing. We visited 3 stores and the last store had the magical dress. She “thought” she had found it at the first store, but I didn’t see that super twinkle in her eyes. When she put this dress on, it fit her like a glove! It only needs a little tweaking, like shortening it. God is so good and faithful!!

I love that God has blessed me with good health too. Two years ago I was undergoing chemo and Saturday I got to spend the day loving on the bride to be. 🩷

In the midst of all the busy preparations for the wedding, there is this weird balance of living in joy in the midst of also grief. Friday evening, Wayne had trouble even getting up off the couch he felt so weak. But he perseveres through it all! He went to the gym the other day with me and did his best, even though it means lifting super light weights now because he has lost strength. 

I can’t explain how odd it feels to have two very distinct emotions happening simultaneously. I’m thankful for our family counselor who helps us navigate this joy and anticipatory grief all at the same time. She is a gift from God. Wayne and I had an appointment today and a couple of the girls will see her tomorrow. It’s wonderful to have someone to work through these difficult issues with.

This morning, all the emotions hit. It’s hard to explain how weird it is to mourn someone while lying in their arms. Our counselor explained that it is anticipatory grief. If I’m honest, it’s just really hard some days. It’s hard to look at Wayne and feel like everything should be normal. He looks healthy and doesn’t have that “cancer” patient look. Brain cancer sucks because it destroys from within and slowly steals away the person. Little by little, the brain takes away: strength, words, cognitive ability, personality, etc. We don’t think a lot about the brain and the impact it has on us, but when it stops doing what it is supposed to, you quickly realize it.

Wayne fell twice today, so I’m going to wrap him in bubble wrap and keep him laying low as much as possible. 

Please join praying with us that Wayne stays strong until the wedding. I would love for it to go even longer, but we at least want him to walk Grace down the aisle and spend the week with our granddaughter. 

Update 10/23/25: Hold on for a Wild Ride

Proverbs 18:22 “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.”

Last week was a huge week for our family. Our first grandchild (Ruth) was born and while we were in Virginia visiting Ruth, we received a FaceTime call from Grace to announce that she was engaged. We knew it was coming since Davis asked us permission a few weeks ago. We are very excited for the both of them. The plan was for them to get married in May after Davis graduates.  

When we returned from our trip, I sat down with Grace and asked her if they have discussed a back up plan in case Wayne started to decline. She said it was important for Wayne to be at their wedding and they had discussed that possibility. 

Fast forward to Monday night, I sat her down again and told her they might want to consider moving the wedding up or coming up with a different plan. Wayne has mentioned a few times to me that he feels weaker, his speech is struggling, and we have all noticed decline. That morning he shared with me that he was pretty sure he wouldn’t be here in May to see Grace get married.

So, Tuesday Grace called her future MIL and me to come up with a plan. The result: Grace is getting married 11/29. That’s right, just over 30 days to plan a wedding! God has already opened so many doors and provided in ways we couldn’t have imagined. So if I look frazzled and a hot mess the next few weeks, you know why. 

Pray for us on Saturday that we find her dress! We have to buy it off the rack, so that might make it difficult, but we know nothing is too difficult for God. 

Picture right after he proposed! 

We are excited to add another member to our family! 

Prayer Requests:

- Please pray for us as we quickly plan a wedding and that we find a dress!

- Pray for Wayne to stay strong and for all of us as we navigate all the unknowns.

- Pray for Davis and Grace as they begin their life together. Please also pray for them since they both have finals two days after their wedding. 

Update 10/18/25: New Stage of Life

Psalm 127:3-5 “Behold, children are a gift of the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one’s youth. How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them; they will not be ashamed when they speak with their enemies at the gate.”

If we have learned anything over the last 10 years, we know that life is truly a blessing. We have once again been blessed that Wayne is here to experience the newest stage for us: being grandparents! Abigail and I were talking about it the other day that she is just amazed at how gracious and kind God has been to her. Wayne has been here for her high school and college graduation, was able to walk her down the aisle, and now he got to hold his first grandchild. We would love to introduce you to the newest member of our family: Ruth Anastasia Camacho. She was born 10/16 at 1:33am and weighed in at 7lb 8oz, 19” long. Mom and baby are doing wonderful and it was so special to see Elijah taking care of both of them. He was a great coach and cheerleader for the birth, and now he is taking great care of Abigail as she recovers and it’s so sweet to see him love on Ruth. Wayne and I are sad to leave them behind today. I know I’m already making plans when I can come back and love on the young family. 🩷🩷

Wayne holding Ruth about 7 hours after she was born. 

Joella was “so disappointed” that she had to go with us to see the baby. 🤣 She has already bragged to her siblings that she got to hold their niece first. 

We couldn’t get enough of her!! She’s the best baby. Today, she just opened her eyes and was such a quiet baby…until you change her and she gets cold. 

Growing family. 🩷🩷🩷

Look at her head of hair. I know that comes from Elijah's side since our kids all had fuzz and never a full head of hair.

We snuck in a few more snuggles before we headed home on Saturday.

We were all sad to leave.

The drive to Virginia was beautiful. We saw a lot of colors along the way. On Thursday after we met Ruth, we headed to Shenandoah National Park to give them some time to rest. We drove part of the Skyline Drive. Since the park visitor centers were closed, we chose to cut the drive short. What we saw was beautiful!! It was nice because we could visit the vistas so Wayne could see the beauty without having to hike. 

I will be posting in a couple days another update on some of our kids. I am trying to spread it out since there is so much going on. For now, we are just basking in the wonderful new stage that we have entered. God has been so gracious to us and we are so thankful that God isn't done with either of us. Until our dying breath, we want to point people to Jesus!