1 John 5:14-15 “This is the confidence which we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests which we have asked from Him.”
God has once again showed up in a big way in our lives. Trying to plan a wedding in under 40 days is a challenge, but not when you have God! On Saturday, Grace, Miriam, and I traveled to Cincinnati to visit Reading Bridal District to try to find Grace a wedding dress. In the first 24 hours after deciding to move the wedding up, we managed to book a venue, a photographer, and a DJ! The dress was the next biggest thing. We visited 3 stores and the last store had the magical dress. She “thought” she had found it at the first store, but I didn’t see that super twinkle in her eyes. When she put this dress on, it fit her like a glove! It only needs a little tweaking, like shortening it. God is so good and faithful!!
I love that God has blessed me with good health too. Two years ago I was undergoing chemo and Saturday I got to spend the day loving on the bride to be. 🩷
In the midst of all the busy preparations for the wedding, there is this weird balance of living in joy in the midst of also grief. Friday evening, Wayne had trouble even getting up off the couch he felt so weak. But he perseveres through it all! He went to the gym the other day with me and did his best, even though it means lifting super light weights now because he has lost strength.
I can’t explain how odd it feels to have two very distinct emotions happening simultaneously. I’m thankful for our family counselor who helps us navigate this joy and anticipatory grief all at the same time. She is a gift from God. Wayne and I had an appointment today and a couple of the girls will see her tomorrow. It’s wonderful to have someone to work through these difficult issues with.
This morning, all the emotions hit. It’s hard to explain how weird it is to mourn someone while lying in their arms. Our counselor explained that it is anticipatory grief. If I’m honest, it’s just really hard some days. It’s hard to look at Wayne and feel like everything should be normal. He looks healthy and doesn’t have that “cancer” patient look. Brain cancer sucks because it destroys from within and slowly steals away the person. Little by little, the brain takes away: strength, words, cognitive ability, personality, etc. We don’t think a lot about the brain and the impact it has on us, but when it stops doing what it is supposed to, you quickly realize it.
Wayne fell twice today, so I’m going to wrap him in bubble wrap and keep him laying low as much as possible.
Please join praying with us that Wayne stays strong until the wedding. I would love for it to go even longer, but we at least want him to walk Grace down the aisle and spend the week with our granddaughter.
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