Harder Family

Harder Family

Wednesday, November 2, 2016

National Adoption Awareness Month: Question 1

Galatians 4:5-7 "To redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons. And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba! Father!” So you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God."

November is National Adoption Awareness Month. Adoption is a beautiful picture of our adoption as God's children. Adoption has impacted our family in many ways. Two of my nephews are adopted from Korea. I have seen and learned so much watching my sister and her husband raise these two amazing boys. I have also watched friends raise their adopted kids. Some of these children were adopted internationally and some were adopted domestically (foster care and from birth). As people shared their stories, God used them to work on me and Wayne. Is adoption always easy? No. Can there be difficult days, weeks, or even years? Yes. But, I also see God use those difficult moments to transform lives (both the parents and the children). God never promised that life would be easy, in fact, He actually said the opposite. We shouldn't be trying to surround ourselves with comfort and ease, but find ways to surrender "our things" and even people to God. 

As we have been on this adoption journey for a few months, we have run across some interesting questions, and even some pointed opinions. It's amazing how people think they can have an opinion, and should state that opinion, about growing your family through adoption. Some concerns stem out of sincere concern, while others are rooted in fear, unbelief that we would want to have so many children, and I think sometimes our of misunderstanding of adoption. 

As mentioned, there have been some good questions that have arisen in conversations. As part of National Adoption Awareness Month, I'm going to address some of these questions during the month. If you have any additional questions, feel free to email me (rebeccaharder35@gmail.com) and I will try to answer them for you. The first question is listed below. I found a great article on Holt's webpage (see the reference below)

Question #1: You are adopting boys? I thought China only had girls to adopt. 

Answer #1: The deep-rooted perception that only girls need adoptive families is, however, probably the most commonly cited reason for the gender gap. And for a period of time, this was true. In the early 1990s, when China first opened to international adoption, a disproportionate number of girls in China were abandoned as an unintended consequence of the country’s one-child policy. Recognizing the need, adoptive parents from around the world stepped up to welcome these girls into their families.
But today, for a number of reasons, this is no longer the case. The perception that girls are in greater need of families is in fact now a myth.
“China used to be all about girls,” says Kris Bales, Holt’s China adoption counselor and intake manager. “Ten to 20 years ago, we rarely saw boys being released for adoption. But now we are seeing more boys than girls, and we are placing equal numbers.”
Today, the greater need for families has shifted from girls to boys in China. Although just as many boys are abandoned every year, because most adoptive families request a girl, boys wait far longer to join a family.
There is nothing at all wrong with wanting to adopt a girl — girls still need adoptive families and the joy they can bring to families is priceless. But there is an imbalance, one that leaves boys waiting longer for adoptive families.
“We want families to know that they can still wait for a girl, if that’s what they truly want,” says Kris. “But we’re hoping they make a more conscious decision, based not only on what they want, but on what the need is.”
So few families request to adopt a boy that today, being a boy is considered a special need. (http://holtinternational.org/blog/2016/02/blessed-with-a-boy/)

I also found this article, which articulates this answer so well, I'm not going to even attempt to answer it on my own. It is worth 5 minutes of your time to read the article, I promise.

Another host family put this amazing video together about adoption and hosting. I thought that I would share it here. 

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