Update 11/9/24: Exhale

Psalms 96:12-13 “Let the field exult, and all that is in it. Then all the trees of the forest will sing for joy before the Lord, for He is coming, for He is coming to judge the earth. He will judge the world in righteousness and the peoples in His faithfulness.”

Recently, I wrote about how life has felt heavy. It has been many months of stress and hard in our lives. It seems like when life is feeling extra difficult, that’s when God shows up and takes that burden away. The burden isn’t actually gone, but I finally pry my fingers off and surrender to Him. He then gently and kindly reminds me that He has been carrying me all the time, I’ve just been fighting Him. Have you ever seen a toddler struggling and fighting their parents who are carrying them? Usually, once they settle down, they pass out from all the energy they have used up fighting. I think many times we are like that with God. 

Update Wayne: 

Wayne recovered from his busy day of falling. He woke up Tuesday and told me that he was sore. None of us were shocked. What did he think by taking on the oven, refrigerator, garbage can, and the floor? They won and he lost! You can see that he dented and broke our garbage can. We sent the disc to his doctors in Chicago. Unfortunately, they didn’t receive it in time for our Telehealth appointment yesterday. They said they will call us with any information once they receive it. I tried looking at the scan to interpret it, but I had no clue what I was looking at. 

Update Rebecca:

I recovered from my immunotherapy treatment last week. My colonoscopy was good and I was cleared to wait two years for my next one! After my test, they told me my job was to sleep and drink, which was not a problem. I took two naps on Wednesday! I was feeling back to normal just in time to leave Thursday for our girls trip to TN!

Girls Trip 2024 to Pigeon Forge/Gatlinburg:

I was so glad I got to go in person this year on this trip. Last year, I traveled my version of Flat Stanley (Flat Rebecca). We had fun recreating some of the moments.

We couldn’t reenact them all because I’m too big to climb in a tree and so some of the other fun things the flat version of me did. 🤣

These ladies right here are super special to me: my sisters in Christ who have been there for our family in amazing ways. I love and appreciate each one of you!! Last year they surprised us by wearing matching shirts that showed their support for Wayne and I during our cancer battles. 

This year’s shirts left us all covered in glitter.

We had the best weather this weekend. It was actually warm enough to wear shorts!

Lots of delicious food was consumed: The Local Goat, Pancake Pantry, Flavortown, JT Hannah’s, The Five Oaks Farm Kitchen, Buccees. 

Amazing activities: miniature golf, mountain rollercoasters (2 different ones), Xperia, and lots of shopping!

Apple Dumping Gang re-enactment. IYKYK

Being silly and having fun was also on the to do list.

We decided that the Goats on the Roof mountain coaster was better than The Lost Mine, although the Lost Mine had more comfortable seats. We decided next time we will try the other ones and give a review of them all. The Lost Mine I just missed seeing a black bear. I heard something and thought it was part of the ride, until a lady riding behind me said she saw a bear. 

Wayne’s great grandma was a McCoy. I told Wayne I need to take him to Pigeon Forge to watch this show. I’ve never been, but I know he’d enjoy seeing something that ties to his ancestors. 

We ran into two families from church while in Pigeon Forge and I saw a friend from my precepts class. Small world!

Prayer Requests:

- pray for Wayne as he continues to heal from his falls. 

- We have 5 weeks until the wedding. Please pray that all the little last minute details get ironed out. 

Update 11/4/24: ER Visit (Update)

We are back home now. Thank you for praying!

Wayne’s face looks beat up, but he is home resting. They couldn’t rule out a small bleed, but Wayne refused an MRI at this time. We just have to keep an eye on some symptoms that would warrant a trip back to the ER. Only then will Wayne allow me to get him an MRI. He made a commitment to God that he would trust God and not get anymore MRIs, so that’s why he refused. I told him he keeps taking months off my life with these scares. 

We got his CT scan on a disc and we are sending it to his team in Chicago for them to review. 

Thank you again for praying!

Update 11/4/24: ER Visit

Psalm 46:1-3 “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore, we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling.”

This morning has been a little crazy. I dropped the girls off at school and headed for my last PT for my ankle. I got a call from Abigail that Wayne had fallen and hit his head on our oven door. He told me he was fine and to go on in to PT. As I was waiting for my appointment to start, she called me again and said I need to come home now. Wayne had fallen again, this time he fell back into the refrigerator and hit the back of his head. When I got there, Grace had his head on her lap and he looked terrible. He was pale and sweating. We had to coax him into allowing us to call an ambulance so he could be evaluated. We were all terrified of trying to get him up again without him falling a third time. 

We are now at the ER where they are running tests. Our non-medical opinion is he has a concussion. Thankfully, he is willing to get a CT scan to check for bleeding. Wayne had told me before he didn’t want any tests on his head. This made me and the kids feel much better that he’s willing to be evaluated. 

Pictures Abigail sent from the first fall. 

Prayer Requests:

- Please pray that they find out what is going on and that Wayne makes a full recovery. I told him he has to at a minimum live another 40 days to walk Abigail down the aisle. Sometimes morbid humor helps us get through these rough times. 

- Please also pray for my sweet kids and the traumatic time this morning. 

Update 11/2/24: Anxiety

2 Timothy 1:7 “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”

I have been battling anxious thoughts and fears the last couple days. After my appointment yesterday, it grew to a point where it felt debilitating. I could hardly pray and my mind just kept running away from me. Fearful thoughts about my cancer recurring and leaving my kids behind. So many different hypotheticals kept me tossing in bed last night. I called my mom this morning to ask for prayers and she reminded me of the verse in 2 Corinthians 10:5 “We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raise up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.” She reminded me to speak truth to myself about what I know and believe about God and what He has done in my life. It’s so easy to allow the enemy to get in and speak lies into our ears. We have to shut him down.

**Truths I am clinging to and maybe they will help you as well in what you are facing:**

- Even if the worst case scenario happens, God has a sovereign plan for my life and I can trust that. 

- He is always working for my good and for His glory! (Romans 8:28)

- I have a high priest who knows and understands my weaknesses (Hebrews 4:15)

- I am never alone or forsaken (Hebrews 13:5)! 

- God cares for me and I can give Him all my anxieties (1 Peter 5:7)

- God has carried me through some of the darkest days and deepest waters. Will He fail now? No!! (Isaiah 41:10, Psalm 13:5)

- Fear is not from God, so when I start to feel anxious or fearful, I need to remember who God is and who I am in Him. (2 Timothy 1:7)

- Take one day at a time (Matthew 6:34)

- If I’m still struggling, reach out to my prayer warrior friends and ask them to surround me in prayer. 

- Listen to praise music, especially music that is singing scripture.

- Immerse myself in God’s Word

As I was writing these out, I really started contemplating what a sound mind means (in reference to the verse above). I love studying the Greek words because I think it helps me understand the verse better. We are told that God has NOT given us fear (which means not being fear-driven or dreadful), but He has given us power (the Greek word here is dynameos-power through God’s ability), love (agape- divine love), and a sound mind. I looked up the Greek word for sound mind and it was sṓphrōn (from sōos, "sound, safe" and 5424 /phrḗn, "inner outlook" which regulates outward behavior). The part that says an inner outlook which regulates outward behavior struck me. In other words, when deep down inside I know and trust God and who He is, my actions will reveal that. So instead of walking in fear and anxiety, my outward behavior is that of trust and surrender. So I am not to be fear driven, but remember that I have been given my God power through God’s ability, divine love, and a mind that is sound because it is grounded in knowing who God is.

I may be rambling to all of you, but is God’s gift of remembrance to me tonight. Every time I feel a weird twinge and start to have a fearful thought that can quickly spiral me, I will cling to Jesus. Maybe you have something that is causing you fear, bring it to Jesus and trust Him because He has this!

Update Wayne: Wayne had his physical this week and we are just waiting on some labs to see how he’s doing. Overall, his doctor and his palliative team said he looks good. We keep doing therapy because it helps Wayne physically and mentally (gives him a goal).

Update Rebecca: I met with my oncologist yesterday. I have a CT scan scheduled for the beginning of December and my next treatment just two days before Abigail’s wedding. The appointment went well, but something about being in the oncology department just stirs up fears and trauma from last year's treatments. I’m so thankful to be through it and again, I have to just take one day at a time and trust.

Overall, besides these twinges in my pelvis, I have been feeling great. I took a hike this week with my friend Rhonda and I’ve been going to the gym. 

Wayne and I attended a wedding today for some friends at church. We cannot believe in six week our daughter will be married. I’m excited for her and Elijah, but I’m pretty sure there will be tears. 

Prayer Requests:

- Pray for all the last minute wedding prep

- Pray for my colonoscopy this week and for my upcoming CT scan to be clear

- Wayne’s continued health, especially for the wedding