Harder Family Adventures: Update 11/2/24: Anxiety

2 Timothy 1:7 “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”

I have been battling anxious thoughts and fears the last couple days. After my appointment yesterday, it grew to a point where it felt debilitating. I could hardly pray and my mind just kept running away from me. Fearful thoughts about my cancer recurring and leaving my kids behind. So many different hypotheticals kept me tossing in bed last night. I called my mom this morning to ask for prayers and she reminded me of the verse in 2 Corinthians 10:5 “We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raise up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.” She reminded me to speak truth to myself about what I know and believe about God and what He has done in my life. It’s so easy to allow the enemy to get in and speak lies into our ears. We have to shut him down.

**Truths I am clinging to and maybe they will help you as well in what you are facing:**

- Even if the worst case scenario happens, God has a sovereign plan for my life and I can trust that.

- He is always working for my good and for His glory! (Romans 8:28)

- I have a high priest who knows and understands my weaknesses (Hebrews 4:15)

- I am never alone or forsaken (Hebrews 13:5)!

- God cares for me and I can give Him all my anxieties (1 Peter 5:7)

- God has carried me through some of the darkest days and deepest waters. Will He fail now? No!! (Isaiah 41:10, Psalm 13:5)

- Fear is not from God, so when I start to feel anxious or fearful, I need to remember who God is and who I am in Him. (2 Timothy 1:7)

- Take one day at a time (Matthew 6:34)

- If I’m still struggling, reach out to my prayer warrior friends and ask them to surround me in prayer.

- Listen to praise music, especially music that is singing scripture.

- Immerse myself in God’s Word

As I was writing these out, I really started contemplating what a sound mind means (in reference to the verse above). I love studying the Greek words because I think it helps me understand the verse better. We are told that God has NOT given us fear (which means not being fear-driven or dreadful), but He has given us power (the Greek word here is dynameos-power through God’s ability), love (agape- divine love), and a sound mind. I looked up the Greek word for sound mind and it was sṓphrōn (from sōos, "sound, safe" and 5424 /phrḗn, "inner outlook" which regulates outward behavior). The part that says an inner outlook which regulates outward behavior struck me. In other words, when deep down inside I know and trust God and who He is, my actions will reveal that. So instead of walking in fear and anxiety, my outward behavior is that of trust and surrender. So I am not to be fear driven, but remember that I have been given my God power through God’s ability, divine love, and a mind that is sound because it is grounded in knowing who God is.

I may be rambling to all of you, but is God’s gift of remembrance to me tonight. Every time I feel a weird twinge and start to have a fearful thought that can quickly spiral me, I will cling to Jesus. Maybe you have something that is causing you fear, bring it to Jesus and trust Him because He has this!

Update Wayne: Wayne had his physical this week and we are just waiting on some labs to see how he’s doing. Overall, his doctor and his palliative team said he looks good. We keep doing therapy because it helps Wayne physically and mentally (gives him a goal).

Update Rebecca: I met with my oncologist yesterday. I have a CT scan scheduled for the beginning of December and my next treatment just two days before Abigail’s wedding. The appointment went well, but something about being in the oncology department just stirs up fears and trauma from last year's treatments. I’m so thankful to be through it and again, I have to just take one day at a time and trust.

Overall, besides these twinges in my pelvis, I have been feeling great. I took a hike this week with my friend Rhonda and I’ve been going to the gym.

Wayne and I attended a wedding today for some friends at church. We cannot believe in six week our daughter will be married. I’m excited for her and Elijah, but I’m pretty sure there will be tears.