Harder Family

Harder Family

Friday, March 6, 2020

Month of Memories

Psalm 77:11-14 "I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember you wonders of old. I will ponder all your work, and meditate on your mighty deeds. You way, O God, is holy. What god is great like our God? You are the God who works wonders; you have made known your might among the peoples."

My Facebook "On This Day" memories have resulted in a mix of emotions. We are celebrating 5 years since Wayne's diagnosis with brain cancer, which means that there are so many pictures from that time. Pictures of Wayne at surgery, Wayne in recovery, family photos, and more. Seeing these pictures transports me back to that time as if it just happened. Isn't that weird the way the brain works? It makes me more understanding of the trauma kids experience who are adopted or are in foster care. One smell, sound, or picture can trigger such an array of emotions. I think this is true for our girls as well. As much as we "move on", there is still a piece of you stuck in 2015. 

There are other memories from March that pop up on Facebook. These pictures trigger great memories. It was 3 years ago that I was in China adopting our two sons. Yesterday was DJ's family day and Sunday is Shan Chen's family day. Our lives have been so enriched by these two boys. Although it hasn't been all rainbows and unicorns, we can see God's hand in it all. We are so thankful that God called us to adopt.

Whenever I see this crossover of memories, it reminds me of God's faithfulness and the importance of obedience. God asked us to adopt just a year after Wayne's diagnosis. I still remember asking God, "Seriously? It doesn't make sense at all to adopt NOW! We tried before and you shut the door and NOW you want us to adopt? That is crazy!" This was just another lesson in my life that God doesn't do things the way WE think He should, He does things for a purpose beyond what we can comprehend. It is crazy to think that on Wayne's 2 year anniversary of his brain surgery, I was in China with our two boys finalizing our adoption! Who does that? Who takes on two more kids when you have a spouse that has a cancer with a diagnosis of 12-18 months? Crazy people, that is who. We have actually heard that a lot in the last few years...You are crazy! But you know what, we aren't crazy just to be crazy and get "attention". We are so enamored with our Savior, who we know has numbered Wayne's days, that we want to follow Him wherever that leads, even if it is to crazy land! Where will He lead us next? Only He knows. But wherever He calls us, we will follow. How about you? Do you feel God calling you to do something but it feels crazy? Why not completely surrender and trust God to lead the way, even if it is to a place the world would call crazy. Being in the middle of God's will is the safest place to be! Never be afraid to step out of the boat and follow God.

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