In the Waiting

 Psalm 27:14 “Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.”

Psalm 96:3 “Declare His glory among the nations, His marvelous works among all the peoples!”

Waiting is hard. Over the years waiting on Wayne’s MRI results, I have tried to use the time that may cause anxiety (or as people in the brain cancer world call it, scanxiety) to spend time studying God’s word. I find that by focusing my attention on who God is gets my eyes off of my worries. It always reminds me of Peter when he walked on the water. As soon as he took his eyes off of Jesus, the waves overcame him. That’s how life is. If we look too much at all the chaos and events going on around us, we can start to fear and take our eyes off if Jesus. 

God is always so gracious to meet me right where I need Him. Yesterday, I was reading Isaiah 40-42 to catch up on my accountability group Bible reading. God in those chapters reminded me of His sovereignty, that He is my Creator and my sustainer. In chapter 41, He reminded me not to fear. As Wayne has quoted, “I’m invincible until Jesus calls me home.” Wayne rests and trusts that God has numbered and ordained his days before he was even born. As believers, there is so much freedom in that statement and knowledge that your time on earth has been already determined. I’m not advocating for living wildly and doing crazy things thinking you are invincible like some Marvel fictional character, but I am saying we live in fear of things that we shouldn’t. God is in control and I love that I can rest and trust in Him, even in the most difficult and dark times in my life.

So as I sit hear waiting for Wayne, I am working on my Daniel Bible study and I wanted to share something I wrote on the last day in Florida last week. 

I am sure as a child you once had a dream of what you wanted to be. It may have changed over the years, but we all had a dream as kids to be something-a firefighter, a vet, teacher, doctor, etc. I vividly remember being about nine years old reading “With Daring Faith”, the story of Amy Carmichael. I remember being moved by her heart for serving the Lord and her passion for the children in India. I can recall telling Jesus that I wanted to be a missionary like Amy. A few months later, missionaries visited our church and shared what God was doing through their ministry. My heart once again felt compelled to be a missionary. As the years went on, the passion was still there for missions, but my practical mind started thinking of all the things I was scared of-snakes, spiders, etc. Slowly, overtime, I got distracted by other dreams-dreams to be married, have a family, and live in a safe environment. 

I know that as Christians we don’t have to go overseas to be a missionary, because God calls all of us to share the good news of Jesus with others. But deep in my heart, I have this passion for missions. As a family, we have read countless biographies of missionaries from all around the world. Their faith and full surrender to Jesus has challenged my faith to grow. My prayer has been that my children would be so in love with Jesus, that they would serve Him wherever He calls them. 

I say all of this as a foundation for what I feel has been a dream come true for me this past week. While we were down in Florida, I was blessed and privileged to volunteer at Ethnos360 headquarters. Everyone who works here is a missionary. Most served overseas and for different reasons returned back to the states. This week has felt like I stepped into one of the missionary books we’ve read and they came alive! I have heard them share how God moved them to be a missionary, how God used them to help translate the Bible into other languages, and other amazing testimonies of God. I met some of the most humble servants of God. Their nicknames during the week became the country they served in, since I’m so bad with names. I know it may sound silly to others, but volunteering there for the week blessed my life in ways I can never describe. It was like a dream come true to work along side faithful servants of God who are passionate about their love for Jesus and the people around the world. Their faith and lives challenged me, just like those many missionary stories we’ve read!

Stories We’ve Read (as a family and on my own):

I Dared to Call Him Father

The Insanity of God

Bruchko

With Daring Faith

Heroes in Black History

Hero Tales: A Family Treasury of True Stories

Window on the World

Christian Hero Tales: David Livingston, George Muller, Gladys Aylward, Nate Saint, Lillian Trasher, William Carey, Hudson Taylor, Corrie ten Boom, Brother Andrew, Ida Scudder, Adoniram Judson, Mary Slessor

Peace Child

The Heavenly Man

Radical and Counter Culture

The week in Florida was great for our family. The kids and Wayne worked once again at The Homes at Ethnos360 (a place for older missionaries who can no longer serve overseas). In the evenings after work, we spent time at the beach, visiting friends, and just making memories. 

Please pray for Wayne’s MRI today. We are trusting that God is good no matter what the results. I will update as soon as we know! 

Update: Wayne's scan came back once more clear. Doctor said just watch the hearing thing, but he looked on the scan and nothing is near or on his hearing nerve, so nothing in his brain can be causing the hearing issues. And his shorter temper is probably due to him missing part of his frontal lobe, which helps control that. But praising Jesus for this report!