I have experienced first hand what this verse is describing. When you see the man you love going through the things I have the last few months, especially the seizures, there just aren't words at times to express. When Wayne had his big seizure at the zoo last week, I didn't have eloquent words for God, I just cried out to Him for help and guidance. There actually have been many times lately that I don't know exactly what to pray. My faith in who God is hasn't dimmed, but I have struggled with what exactly to pray. I know God is big enough to heal Wayne completely, but I also want to trust His perfect plan for our lives. I mainly ask God to help me release my will to Him and to trust Him completely.
After getting a clean bill of health with our MRI, we started making some fun plans for life. We thought that we could plan a family trip away from the "cancer". The trip to the zoo changed those plans. We decided that until Wayne is feeling better, we'd better hold off on any trips. As I mentioned before, Wayne's chemo is really affecting him physically this go around. He has had three minor seizures, including one when he went into work yesterday, since his big one at the zoo. I called the doctor today and talked to them about what we can do. They decided to temporarily increase Wayne's seizure medicine to try to get these things under control. Seizures make one realize just how fragile life is and just how helpless we are...you are not in control. All you can do in those moments is call out to God for strength and lean on Him.
Wayne is hoping that the medicine will kick in and help these seizures stop. He is working from home for now until we can be certain that he won't experience another seizure at work. I know Wayne is frustrated. He wants to be at 100% and go back to life (work, exercising, etc).
We were blessed today to have a friend stop by and visit with us. We got to know John Snyder when he came to our church and talked about having a proper view of God. He wrote the series that God used to touch and change our lives, "Behold Your God". It was so encouraging to talk with him and share what God is teaching us in our lives and to hear how God is working in his church in Mississippi. God especially used his prayer at the end of our time to minister to my heart. I love the way God uses little things in our lives to minister to us when we need it the most.
Prayer Requests: Please be praying for Wayne as he has to balance getting well and processing life changes right now. Pray for me for rest, patience and strength. This is a long road and this bump in the road has been bringing me down a little. We were so encouraged with Wayne's recovery and we feel like he has regressed since starting back up on chemo. Pray that his body handles the next dose better and that he can get back to work. Thank you for all of your prayers!!
***UPDATE-Photobook for Wayne: I am still looking for confirmation of people praying for us in Connecticut, Rhode Island, North Dakota, South Dakota, and Vermont. Just five little states left. I don't HAVE to have a picture if you are praying for us, but it would be nice. The book is turning out really nice. and I'd love to include you in the book. Thank you to everyone who has been sending in pictures!!***
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