Harder Family

Harder Family

Friday, March 24, 2023

Update 3/24/23: New News is Bad News

 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 "So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal."

Today we were delivered devastating news. After 8 years of clear scans, the brain cancer is back. Technically, we have always known that there is never remission with brain cancer, but we have always had clear scans with no signs of current tumor activity. Wayne's last scan showed some suspicious material, but they were mainly concerned with the cysts. Todays scans showed active tumor activity (the lit up areas are bad). 

Wayne's oncologist has scheduled us to meet with the surgeon. We will wait to hear back from the surgeon's office early next week to schedule a second craniotomy surgery for Wayne. We are also sending Wayne's scan to Cleveland Clinic. We will find out what trials and treatments each hospital has available for us and we will make our move from there. We will be seeking God's guidance each step of the way. 

We had to make the difficult call to each of our kids, who aren't with us, to let them know the news. So far, they all seem to be handling the news okay. I think that is partly due to the fact that we have all suspected that something like this was going on and we've been preparing ourselves. But no matter how hard you try to prepare yourself, there is nothing like having that news delivered to you. 

While I was waiting for Wayne during his MRI, I worked on getting things ready for the Hope@Home retreat I am serving on for Inheritance of Hope. It was helpful to pray over other families facing the loss of a parent/spouse. It took my eyes off my own difficult circumstances. Unfortunately, I missed the first meeting tonight as we were processing everything. I had promised Joella to get her ears pierced after Wayne's appointment, which went longer than anticipated. God is always in the details. I think Joella and Micaela having their best friends with them was a great distraction. We went out for ice cream afterward at our old favorite ice cream shop in Chicago, Plush Horse. 

Not only has Micaela and Joella had their best friends to distract them, the previous plan was to bring Naomi and Sophia's best friend, Meghan, home with us. This will be a wonderful diversion for both of them as well.

 On the way home from Northwestern, Wayne told me that he wished someone would tell him, "Well, praise the Lord it's back!" I told him that was bizarre. He told me, "God is in control and we should just praise Him no matter what that brings. When I say I want to hear that, I mean that I want someone to express, 'Praise the Lord for another opportunity to show God's grace to others and share all that God is doing in my life.'" I'm not sure I am at that place yet. I'm not sure I want someone coming up to me and declaring, "Wow, praise the Lord that Wayne's cancer is back!"

So where do we go from here? Well, as Wayne said, we just move forward and trust God, no matter what the outcome. We will wait to hear from the surgeon's office this week and make plans for surgery with Wayne's original surgeon, which is the outcome Wayne was really hoping for in regards to surgery. He knew they did such a fabulous job before and he trusts them. Plus, Wayne had an amazing experience at RIC (not Shirley Ryan Ability Lab) for his rehabilitation. While making plans for surgery, we will be researching our options for treatments. Please pray with us that God will make these steps clear. He has already been so gracious to us and has opened doors and answered so many prayers. 

Thank you again to everyone walking along side us and lifting us up before God. Please just pray that God is glorified. To quote Wayne from 8 years ago, he wants God to be glorified either in his life or his death. We know one way or another, God will heal Wayne!

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