Harder Family

Harder Family

Wednesday, June 7, 2023

Update 6/7/23: Song in the Night

 Psalm 42:8 "The Lord will send His faithful love by day; His song will be with me in the night - a prayer to the God of my life."

Psalm 77:6 "I will remember my song in the night; I will meditate with my heart; and my spirit ponders."

Thank you to everyone who reached out yesterday with encouragement and prayers. We ate the ice cream and I had a good cry. This here is a true friend...she has been through it all with us over the last few weeks. She loves on our whole family, has hosted us, and is there for me whenever I need it. Proverbs 18:24 comes to my mind..."there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."I am sure there will be many more days like that in the future. 

But despite how I feel, God is ever present in this mess. As I was brushing my teeth, I turned on my worship list. This is the first song that popped up. I literally stopped brushing my teeth and almost fell to my knees in awe of what an amazing, caring, and compassionate God I serve. The lyrics just hit in the right way tonight. I truly feel like the verses above - His song is with me I the night! 

You're Worthy - Phil Wickham

Cause the way I feel and the fear I'm facing

Doesn't change who You are or what You deserve

I give You my worship

You still deserve it

You're worthy, You're worthy 

I think Phil Wickham is my favorite artist right now. His songs reach my spirit in a way other songs do not. Hymn of Heaven, At Your Name, and 1,000 Names are some of my other favorites from him. Some other favorites are Holy Forever by Chris Tomlin, Behold Him by Paul Baloche, Same God, and Find Me at the Feet of Jesus by Christy Nockels.

I do not believe in accidents in life. I used to get upset when I was delayed leaving the house and then along the way I would see an accident. I quickly realized that sometimes those "delays" in life are God's way of helping us out. 

This morning, after getting Wayne up and ready for his radiation, we received a call from Northwestern that the machine that Wayne receives his radiation in broke down and had to be recalibrated by their engineers. I honestly believe that God stepped in and gave Wayne a break in his long week of radiation. This means that we will have to stay until 6/14 for one more day of radiation, but it is spread out more. Hopefully, this will allow his body some time to recover in-between treatments. 

Tomorrow will be his radiation treatment and his CT scan. Unfortunately, we have not seen an improvement in his mobility or strength even with double the steroids. I am concerned about the news that we will receive, but at the same time I have peace. I know that God is in control and I want to be found, as Christy Nockels' song says, at the Feet of Jesus. He loves Wayne more than me and He has a perfect plan for Wayne's life. I just have to trust Him and worship Him because He deserves it. A friend, who lost her mom last year to cancer, wrote this on my Facebook page and I thought it was profound.  "The veil between the physical world and the spiritual world became so thin that it felt I could put a hand right through it, and never felt so intensely the presence and mercy and love of God." It is so contrary to what we think. When life is the hardest and bleakest, that is when God's love, presence, and light shines the brightest. 

Since Wayne had the day off from radiation, Sue and I took advantage of it. We took the kids to the library and to a huge thrift store. I have done something right in life because my kids prefer thrift store shopping to department stores. The kids had a great time hanging out together today. I am so thankful for their friends and the distraction they provide.

We used to spend hours at this library!

This afternoon, I met up with my friend and old neighbor to take a walk at Swallow Cliff. I used to run here and do the stairs quite frequently when we lived here. I miss running and I have missed the stairs. The weather was perfect for a "quick" walk up the stairs and a walk/hike. I hope to make it back here at least one more time before we head back to KY.

Today was Abigail's birthday. I cannot believe how fast time goes. Thank you to my sweet friend Liz who bought Abigail a cake and flowers for us so that she could still feel love from miles away.

I am so thankful for all the intentionality Wayne has showed his kids over the years. I still remember each girl dressing up and looking forward to surprising Wayne for their birthday breakfast date.

Prayer Requests: 

- Wayne: for strength of his body and continued perseverance through all the hard things. Pray for his body as he has 5 more treatments.
- Wisdom for the doctors when we speak with them tomorrow about Wayne's symptoms and the steroids not helping. Please also pray over his CT scan and that it gives the doctors the answers they need to help Wayne. 




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