Luke 12:7 “Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows.”
Psalm 56:8 “You’ve kept track of all my wandering and my weeping. You’ve stored my many tears in Your bottle-not one will be lost. For they are all recorded in Your book of remembrance.”
Something I keep discovering is how much God really loves and cares for us. This week has been hard. I have shared with a few friends that I’m weary. I think all the hard stuff has just piled up and overwhelmed me. I realized being a caregiver is hard. We are entering the one year mark of starting this caregiver role. When you add my own cancer struggles, it just feels like a lot.
Over the past few years, I have learned a lot about myself. Through Celebrate Recovery, I have learned some amazing life skills to help navigate hard things. But, I am also human and still struggle a lot. On Friday, I had reached a low point. I was exhausted from radiation and my trips to Lexington, worn out from being a caregiver, tired from being a wife and mom, and to top it all off, I was sleep deprived because I had to take Sophia to the orthopedic early Friday morning for an ankle injury. Needless to say, I had a meltdown. In that moment, I told my family I was going to buy myself a ticket and fly to Florida to be alone. I told them I was tired and worn out. I complained that they forget that I have cancer too, on top of caring for their dad. Looking back, I was throwing my own personal tantrum. It’s pretty bad that going to radiation that day felt like a mini-vacation. I had to humble myself and apologize to my family for my poor behavior. But in that space of being real, the reality of all the hard had caught up to me.
I think we can feel in those hard times that God doesn’t see and that maybe He doesn’t care. But then He shows up in some pretty amazing ways to remind us that we aren’t alone and He cares. Tomorrow is my last day of radiation. When Wayne completed his 3 weeks of radiation last year, he got to hit this huge gong to celebrate. It was pretty amazing. I have been looking forward to celebrating in some big way like that. Last week during my weekly appointment with my radiologist, I saw that their version of celebrating was a cow bell. That bummed me out and I was thinking today before radiation how great it would be to ring a gong. So, I started trying to locate one. I called all the music stores and was unsuccessful. I found out where there may be a gong or two that I could travel to, but I really wanted to celebrate with my radiation team.
This afternoon, a Facebook friend had shared my request and was boldly asking others to pray for God to provide a miracle gong for me to ring, which meant a lot to me. We have been studying prayer at church the last few weeks and how we should be willing to pray big, bold prayers. Well, tonight as I was making Wayne dinner, I decided to check my Facebook account and saw that miracle prayer answered. A fellow CC mom had a gong me to borrow! When I had posted my request, I knew it was a long shot. But with God, nothing is a long shot!! God showed me that He cares even about the little things in our lives. Look, if I’m honest, I would have been fine to ring the cow bell. But God loves and cares about me so much, He decided to show up and provide a miracle for me.
Update Wayne: Wayne is getting stronger each day. He was finally released from his boot last Thursday. He has been working hard with his exercises and is back to walking around the house with a cane. He still uses his wheelchair out in public because his muscles are very weak. But what an answer to pray Wayne has been too. He truly is my miracle man. We just need to pray that God would restore his ability to speak. I know he is frustrated almost every day with not being able to communicate with us and others.
Update Rebecca: Tomorrow is my last day of radiation…yay!! I met with my oncologist on Friday. The plan is for me to now move my immunotherapy to every six weeks. When my appointment was over, I hugged my amazing doctor and told her I loved her, but I’m thrilled that I don’t need to see her for six weeks! We will wait a few weeks to schedule my petscan to give my body time to recover from radiation.
Today I brought a little surprise for my radiation team. I hope they know how much I appreciate them. Tomorrow I’m bring us all a special treat to celebrate together…cupcakes! I also bought my radiologist a little gift to thank him for the great job he’s done.
I have been working hard to try to get back into shape. My treatments cause me to gain quite a bit of weight and on top of that, between wanting to give my body time to recover during treatments and not feeling well, exercise didn’t happen. I’m so thankful for friends that make working out more fun!🩷
Prayer Requests:
- Wayne: For continued improvement in his strength and that his speech would improve.
- Rebecca: that my body would fully recover from all of the treatments and that ever cancer cell will have been destroyed by the treatments!
- Sophia: for her ankle to heal completely and for her to shine brightly in DC as she interacts with other cadets and members of Congress.
- Naomi: wisdom and guidance for where God wants her to go after school. She’s looking into some mission options for the summer.
- Grace: for her upcoming travel with her team in FL and for her college classes. Please also pray that God grants her wisdom to know what steps she needs to take in the future.
- Abigail: she is still searching for a full time job so she can pay off some college. Please also pray for her as she completes the last couple classes she needs to graduate.
- Joella & Micaela: for their school and their hearts as they trudge through all this hard stuff in our lives.
- Shan: that he continues to grow in his knowledge of God and help him process even more hard things in his life.
Thank you for walking by our side and praying for us. We love all of you and appreciate everything!
Sending so much love and praying for you and your family
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