New Normal

Psalm 100
"Shout joyfully to the Lord, all the earth. Serve the Lord with gladness; come before Him with joyful singing. Know that the Lord Himself is God; it is He who has made us, and not we ourselves; we are His people and the sheep of His pasture. Enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise. Give thanks to Him, bless His name. For the Lord is good; His loving kindness is everlasting and His faithfulness to all generations."

It is late, but my mind was running like wild horses tonight as I laid in bed trying to fall asleep. I decided that I needed to come write about the day. Maybe writing what God has done today will allow my mind to rest. I am so thankful for a God that is faithful and compassionate!! Today was challenging at times. We are trying to find our new normal and at moments, it was very difficult. The little ones I think can sense that something is going on and have been more clingy, especially to Wayne. The older ones keep asking questions and hug Wayne throughout the day. I've noticed that life has taken on a little more of a heavy feel. There is never a guarantee in life, but in light of the reality of Wayne's unknown mass in his head, I can sense that time is that much more valuable right now. We are trying to enjoy every minute that much more.

I think today was harder on me for many reasons. The first being that it was a slower day. I didn't have the distraction of the business at the hospital and we didn't have school to try to complete. Today some of the "possibilities", or "realities" as some would say, hit home. Today I finally broke down and cried. Wayne was holding me on the couch and we were just talking. I started thinking about his sweet prayer at the dinner table with the family and it just made me start to cry. As I laid in his arms crying, God in His amazing love and compassion gave me another song, "Forever Reign". The lyrics were going through my head  as I cried. The specific part was this "Oh, I'm running to Your arms, I'm running to Your arms. The riches of Your love will always be enough. Nothing compares to Your embrace, Light of the World forever reign." What is so sweet and amazing of our dear Savior is that He reached down to comfort me in a way that He knows matters to me. My love language is touch and so I love being held in Wayne's arms. God gently reminded me and reassured me that even in the darkest times, there is nothing that compares to His embrace and His love is always enough. What a sweet, and meaningful reminder...especially on the day we celebrate love. 

Zephaniah 3:17 "The Lord your God is in your midst,  a mighty one who will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness; He will quiet you by His love;
He will exult over you with loud singing." This is what God did for me tonight. He quieted me with His love, demonstrated His presence, and exulted over me with singing. 

Lamentations 3:22-24 "The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
"The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, "therefore I will hope in him.” I love this verse and have sensed that my hope truly comes from Him.

So, I will continue to cling to my rock. Psalm 18:1-3 "I love you, O Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised..." I know God is trustworthy and I have seen Him in the past get me through dark, troubled times. I know there may be times in my humanness that I may start to fail and become weak, but this verse speaks the truth. Psalm 73:25-26 "Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."

I will conclude with one of my favorite hymns "It Is Well With My Soul". If you have never read the or heard his story, see it here. I have a feeling that God will be using many songs to speak to me. I love praise and worship songs and hymns. Please feel free to share verses that have spoken to you in your times of great need. May God continue to move and teach us about Himself through each of the coming days!!