Harder Family

Harder Family

Saturday, August 26, 2023

Update 8/26/23: Power of Prayer

 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God I’m Christ Jesus for you.”

Thank you to everyone who prayed for my mom. She is home and is getting stronger each day. The damage to her heart was only in some small arteries around the heart. The doctor said with some PT, it should resolve and get better. We are very glad they went so quickly to the ER. The doctors said that if they would have waited, things could have been worse. Her heart rate was up at 360 when she was in afib. Thankfully, with some medicine they were able to stabilize her. Thank you again for praying for my mom. 

I have another specific, huge prayer request. I found out on Friday from a friend who does medical billing why my medical bills have been so much. I gave her my insurance card so she could look up my plan. I was trying to get an idea what my portion of my surgery may be. It appears that the “insurance” I’ve been paying for the last two years, isn’t really insurance at all. I have been paying almost $1400/month for an “insurance” that only gives me a PPO discount. They will never pay anything for any medical procedures, visits, etc.

I have reached out to our state to see if there is any medical assistance I might be able to receive due to my unique situation. I will be going to their offices on Monday to discuss with someone in person what options might be available. I think my anxiety has been more regarding this than my actual diagnosis. I kept waking up last night with a sick stomach and had to keep praying to give it to the Lord. I don’t know how the insurance sales guy managed to sell me something that doesn’t cover anything. The amount of PPO deductions I’ve received is nothing compared to what I have paid in each month. What insurance doesn’t pay anything? Please pray with me that we are able to find some kind of resolution to get me through November when I am able to switch insurance during open enrollment.

My shadow aka Bo. He always steals Wayne’s seat when he leaves. Tonight Shan captured it with his phone. He was sitting like a human next to me. I feel very loved by this dog.

Meanwhile, this week has been challenging as I adjust to my new diet. The hardest day was Thursday when Wayne requested pizza. I had to drive home with a hot pizza in my car. I wanted a piece so bad, but I held strong and ate my salad. The fermented vegetables have been a challenge too. Overall, I do feel better eating this healthy. I think a lot of it is just mental and you have to have healthy things an available to help make wise choices.

Tonight was one of my favorite meals. I warmed some Siete almond flour tortillas and put hummus, cucumbers, broccoli, and purple carrots on them.

Good for my gut, but I literally chug it down because it’s not my favorite (sauerkraut, fermented cabbage, and mung beans).

My dinner vs Wayne’s dinner. I know mine is more nutritious, but his smelled amazing!

On Thursday afternoon, we received a call from Cincinnati Children’s Hospital about setting up an appointment for Shan Chen to be measured for compression shorts. They had an appointment available Friday morning, so we took it. There was a huge thunderstorm moving through the area on our drive, which didn’t make for a fun trip. It was our first time to this doctor’s office, so we parked at the hospital, only to discover that the office was up the street. The skies decided to open up in us as we were walking there. We ended up running and laughing the whole way. Shan helps make life fun. We had a great laugh as we walked in looking like drenched rats into his appointment. We had over 4 hours of driving for a 15 minute visit. Thankfully, they will mail us his new shorts. 

I have some pretty amazing people in my life. One of my sweet friends researched and found me these two cookbooks to give me some creative ideas for some healthy meals. My family is terrified that I’ll make them eat like me. Joella asked how long I’m going to eat like this and I said as long as I need to. I know it doesn’t guarantee anything, but eating healthy is good for all of us. The motivation of being around longer for my kids is enough to keep me moving forward. 

I feel like getting ready to have surgery is much like nesting before a baby. Projects that I’ve wanted to get around to, I’m finally doing. Micaela helped me reorganize my kitchen cabinets. We also organized all our homeschool materials for the year so it doesn’t look as messy.

Update on Wayne: Wayne is feeling back to normal after chemo. It took a solid five days for him to bounce back. He is doing well at PT and has been taking short walks around the neighborhood. The only downside we’ve noticed is that he is pausing more when he tries to speak. In those moments it’s hard not to worry about what’s going on in his brain. We have to keep taking one day at a time and not allow the fears or worry to bog us down. 

Please continue to pray for Wayne as we bumble our way through all of this. Life is hard! The blessing in life being hard is that it 1) makes us long for heaven, 2) makes us stop and enjoy all the little things in life (even getting drenched in a thunderstorm)…especially time with our children, and 3) reminds us of the importance of sharing the best thing in our life with others…Jesus. 

Please pray that we have opportunity to share the hope that we have with others. It’s only because of Jesus that we can get out of bed each day. With all that we are juggling, only He can give us the strength and joy to face our day and our trials.

The song that has encouraged my heart this week is “Worthy of My Song” by Phil Wickham. I was planning on driving last week to hear him in concert in Indianapolis, but that did not work out due to Wayne’s chemo. One day soon, I will make it to his concert because the songs that he has written (Hymn of Heaven, Battle Belongs, Living Hope) have ministered to me for so many hours as I exercise, drove to and from Chicago, and in the car running errands. Here is part of the lyrics that just resonate with me this week.

And in the blessing, in the pain, You are worthy
Whether You say yes or no or wait, You are worthy
Through it all, I choose to say, "You are worthy"
I'll never stop singing Your praise
No, I'll never stop singing Your praise
And when I finally see Your face, I'll cry worthy
And when You wipe these tears away, I'll cry worthy
Above every other name, You are worthy
I'll never stop singing Your praise

Thank you again to all of you for your faithful prayers. So many days I tell Wayne that I know it’s the prayers of my brothers and sisters in Christ that are sustaining us. The overall peace in the midst of these trials is pretty amazing! 

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