Update 9/14/23: Fear

Psalm 139:4-6 “Before a word is on my tongue You, Lord, know it completely. You hem me in behind and before, and You lay Your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.”

Deuteronomy 31:8 “The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

I woke up this morning with a little fear in my heart. I’m human and I’m scared of surgery and what we may discover afterwards from pathology. But then I remembered who I serve and who loves me more than I can imagine. He is not surprised by any of this. When He created me, He had my days numbered. So whether I live to 90 or 45, He knows what is to come and He hold me in His hands. That brought my soul comfort. 

When I opened my phone, I saw numerous encouraging texts of people letting me know that they are praying for me. That was my first confirmation today that God has this. 

Then as I showered, the first praise song that came on my playlist was “Good God Almighty” which declares “Good God Almighty, I hope You’ll find me, praising Your name no matter what comes, ‘cause I know where I’d be without Your mercy, so I keep praising Your name at the top of my lungs”. 

Right after that song, “O My Soul” came on. God knew even what songs I needed to hear this morning. Listen to this chorus: “Oh, my soul, you are not alone, there’s a place where dead has to face the God you know, one more day, He will make a way, let Him show you how, you can lay this down, ‘cause you’re not alone.” God was reminding me that He is walking with me into that surgery and that He’s with me all the way. Doubt and fear have no place in my heart, I am choosing to lay it down and trust Him.

I spoke with my friends from China yesterday and they both told me that God has me and everything is going to go well. They said they have seen Him work in our lives and He will continue to do so. It was amazing to hear their trust, which encouraged me so much.

Yesterday, Wayne and Sophia went on her birthday date. Wayne gave her a special ring. We then picked up my sister, Rachel. She is going to be helping out the first few days at home. 

As I was typing, I received a call from the surgeon’s office. She’s running ahead of schedule, so we are leaving now for the hospital and my surgery time may move up from 12:45! Please pray for my heart to keep trusting and waiting on God through all of this.