Harder Family

Harder Family

Sunday, March 22, 2015

Teddy Bear

Psalm 56:3-4 "When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God, whose word I praise—in God I trust and am not afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?"

Isaiah 41:10, 13 "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand...For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you."

Fear. Such a small word, but packed with so much emotion. There have been times in the course of this month that fear has popped it's little head up in my mind. Today was another day that I had moments of struggling with fear. The fear of "what-ifs"...what if we can't get all the cancer, what if Wayne dies, what if...(the list could go on). It is in those instants that you start to feel yourself drowning and feel overwhelmed. I have to remember who is in control when those moments come. It's like the analogy I mentioned the other day about Peter walking on the water. I started to look at the water instead of keeping my eyes on Jesus. I can't let go of His hand and I can't take my eyes off of Him. Otherwise, the waves and worries of this life start to overtake me and I start drowning in the ocean, just as Peter did.

As we were driving home from seeing Wayne this morning, the song "You Never Let Go" came on. The lyrics were perfect. Here is part of the song: 

Even though I walk through the valley
Of the shadow of death
Your perfect love is casting out fear

And even when I'm caught in the middle
Of the storms of this life
I won't turn back, I know You are near

And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?

Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me

God won't ever let go of me and He has a beautiful story that He is writing. I just have to be willing to surrender my fears, my anxieties, and even my husband into His hands. That is really easy to say, but it is harder to do. I find it interesting walking this journey and seeing how important it is to really know God. I'm not talking about just going on Sunday to church and being "good", but intimately having a relationship with God and knowing who He is, and clinging to His Word. Without Him to cling to, knowing exactly who He is and what His Word says about Him, I don't know how you would make it through these trials. Theology is only as good as your application. In this journey that is unfolding before us, my only hope is to cling to who He is and trust His purpose and plan. 

As I mentioned earlier, the girls and I went to visit Wayne this morning. Wayne wanted me to bring them early today because RIC was having a teddy bear clinic for kids. I'm so thankful that they offered this special program for us to participate as a family. The girls each got to pick out a teddy bear, dress their "patient" up, and take care of them. There were crafts, activities and games for them to participate in with their bears. The girls had a blast. Sophia and Naomi even operated on a bear. They said the bear had a brain tumor, so they were able to work with the volunteers to cut open the bears head and get it out. I think this was therapeutic for the girls. I sense that they feel comfortable talking openly about everything going on, which I think is good. They are trying to process some really hard things. After staying at the clinic for about an hour with our bears, we left and went upstairs to play another family game of aggravation. Wayne won today's game.

Wayne continues to do excellent. When we first arrived, he was finishing up his occupational therapy. The therapist told me that Wayne has now finished every goal she had outlined for him. She is trying to come up with some ways to challenge him over the next few days that he is at RIC. 

I forgot to share a funny story about Wayne from Friday. While I was in the room watching his speech therapist work with him, she asked Wayne to name 10 sports (they were working on naming groups of things). He started with football, baseball, basketball, and hockey. He paused and then said, "Table tennis." I started laughing so hard. Where did table tennis come from? We all had a good chuckle over that one. The therapist asked him to think of an international sport, to help him move into different types of sports. She was aiming for soccer and he said, "Lacrosse". I'm assuming he thought of Lacrosse because his boss' son plays the sport. That's not normally a sport many of us would think of right away. To finish up the last few he said, "Cricket, the 50 yard dash, skiing, and swimming." I'm not sure where all the sports came from. Cricket? Lacrosse? Table tennis? I was thinking along the lines of tennis, swimming, volleyball, golf, etc. It was all good though, he name ten sports. 

Later, after therapy, I told Wayne that he is amazing me. I try to answer the questions he gets asked in my mind (like name the different ways the word "trunk" is used). He does as good as me, if not better, and I didn't just have brain surgery. I'm so proud of him and how hard he has been working to get home to his family. His positive attitude has helped as well. The girls loved seeing him and can't wait for him to be home.

Here are some pictures from today at the Teddy Bear Clinic.

1 comment:

  1. That is so amazing that the girls got to get teddy bears and do surgery on them. Love how they are helping the girls to cope with what is going on. Wayne is really doing great. I would have a hard time with some of those questions. We are praying for you every day.